The idea has been around forever--or at least as long as I can remember. It's the concept that if you change the way you think, you change the way you feel. AA calls it "stinkin' thinkin'" and there are other various versions of this. It seems to be the premise of almost all of today's self-help gurus.
Yet, most of us are stuck in the same old thought patterns. Those thought patterns dictate how we feel, which in turn have huge influence over how we act. These thought patterns lead us down destructive paths to jobs we hate, failing marriages, bad relationships with our kids, and overall angst and loneliness (for which the prescription drug world is extremely grateful).
Genetically, some of us seem to be better off than others. To me, the nature/nurture debate leans to the side of nature on this one. Regardless of the environments in which people are raised, a positive thinking pattern seems to be something inherited rather than learned. I'm pretty much convinced that those of us who weren't lucky enough to inherit that positive thinking have a challenging job when it comes to changing those patterns.
Yes, I am in the negative thinking group. I hate to say it, but it's true. Despite having a wonderful upbringing, great successes, and strong relationships, I tend to look at the cup as half empty. Then, I feel guilty about it. Changing this pattern is the challenge I face daily.
When it comes to work, I think we need to factor in this "change your thoughts, change your feelings, change your behavior" idea. After working in training and communications for over 20 years, I can tell you that just focusing on the changing behavior part doesn't work--because you're not touching the underlying causes of that behavior. We've always had to be careful in corporate training not to get too psychological, but behavior and psychology are so intertwined, it's pretty much inevitable.
I just read a great book thanks to my husband (and his boss). It's called "Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box" by The Arbinger Institute. It presents another version of this "change your thoughts, change your feelings, change your behavior" model--and some of us need to see things in a variety of ways before we really "get it." This story motivated me to, once again, experiment with changing my thinking. I've done it in several specific occasions over the years and, oddly enough, I am always surprised by the results.
Instead of thinking, "I don't wanna" "I wish I didn't have to" "What if I forget something?" "What if I'm wrong?" "What if they ask me something I don't know?"--I've been thinking "This is fun! I want to do this! If I have fun, they will too." Also, a few gems I've gotten over the years: (from my voice teacher) "I'm here to share, not to show; to express, not to impress" and (from Wayne Dyer) "Being myself involves no risks. It is my ultimate truth and I live fearlessly." Not only have I FELT happier, I've had great opportunities come my way and I've had fun. Shocking. It works.
Now, if the corporate world would just be open to incorporating this work into company culture (instead of looking at it as "touchy, feely, psycho, mumbo-jumbo"), we might start getting somewhere.
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