For those who've gone on...

Where is your light? Does it burn strong?

Is it burning?

Does it carry on?

That light that shines for all to see,

The light that burns to set you free,

To illuminate the path,

And light the way,

For those you love,

Though you’ve gone away.

Burn bright, burn on,

Your love, your laugh,

Your memory is strong.

Rest easy now, you deserve this peace,

Our pain, though strong,

Will someday cease.

Though we’ll never fill the hole you’ve made,

You’ve given us more than we gave.

We will watch and listen,

For we know you are near,

Watching, laughing,

Easing our fear.

We love you, we miss you,

Your light burns on,

We’ll carry your torch, we’ll sing your song.

Rest now, sleep tight,

Go forth into that good night,

With the morning sunrise light,

We’ll feel your presence strong and bright.

RIP Kristin

Cancer Never Wins

Why Can't Fun be Serious Business?

I'm not sure what it is about our American heritage that tells us that if it's fun, it's not serious or productive. Perhaps it's not just our American heritage at all, and I'm not sure that it's even "Western" thinking; from what I've heard those Eastern thinkers can be all work and no play as well. Whatever it is about human development, we've created the notion that fun and "real work" are mutually exclusive.

Maybe we need to stop lumping all "fun" into one basket. Of course there is the fun that is just fun for fun's sake. Frolicking in a pile of leaves, swooshing down a ski slope, or maybe a shot of tequila (or two) now and then. I would argue that ALL fun teaches us--sometimes lessons we don't want to learn (especially the tequila).

In all seriousness, though, fun is not only important for learning, I would argue that it is an essential element. Maybe we need to redefine fun. Think about the times when you've had the best learning experiences. For most of us, it doesn't include the many, many hours we spent in traditional classrooms, being lectured at by a teacher and regurgitating some form of what he or she spewed at us. For most of us, it doesn't include our professional education credit classes, training programs offered at work, or the conference sessions that cost our employers thousands of dollars. What's YOUR most memorable educational experience? Why was it effective?

Fun doesn't mean just being silly--although that IS fun. Fun means being involved, engaged, moving, thinking, experimenting, relating. When we create an environment where people can try new things, where they can fail and learn from failure without judgment, where they can celebrate success, where they can speak freely and brainstorm ideas without ridicule, where they can share those success and failures, WHERE THEY CAN DARE TO STEP OUTSIDE WHAT IS COMFORTABLE--then learning takes place. We think uncomfortable is not fun, and most of us avoid it at all costs, but usually uncomfortable is what makes fun, fun! I could go on and on about this forever, but I don't have the room and you don't have the time. So, I will share these links.

Fun in school: Quantum Learning/Supercamp
Fun at work: Coaching Ourselves, On Your Feet
Fun in personal development: Interplay

If you're a teacher--make learning fun for your students. If you're a manager--make learning fun for your employees. If you're a parent--make learning fun for your kids. Most importantly--make learning fun for yourself. Seriously, you just might learn something.

It is Patriot Day

I have to admit, when I looked at Google Calendar and saw that it was "Patriot Day" I didn't know what it was. It wasn't that I'd forgotten about 9/11 and its events, I just don't associate them yet with the term "Patriot Day."

A dear, dear friend of mine who lives here in Scottsdale, comes from a family of New York, Irish fire fighters and her brother died in the towers on 9/11. Just typing that makes me cry. I called her tonight, to tell her I was thinking of her on this sad anniversary and it just so happened she is writing a paper on "civic responsibility." (She just went back to school at 50! :) We began discussing labels and prejudice. It's true that her East coast experiences are much different than mine on the West coast.

For one, the East coast, with all of its immigrant communities, was much more "open" about who people were. She told me that growing up, you told people your full name because "Geraghty" or "Ricci" or "Polanski" told folks about where you lived and where you came from. It also meant you were ripe for a slew of "racial" jokes--but rather than alienating you, it was almost a form of acceptance. "OH, you're Irish--let's go have a beer!"

Growing up in Seattle, I had the opposite experience. The West coast was, and I believe continues to be, the land of P.C. While I think on some fronts the P.C.'ness was started with good intentions, it has its own challenges as well. I've had frank discussions with "people of color" who say that prejudice is alive and well in Seattle--it's just much more polite.

So where does this leave us? The standard sentiment for 9/11 is "We will remember" and "Don't forget"--and this is very true. We must remember--we must not forget. Yet, we must forgive. We have to move past labeling, and "isms." The number of Muslims who agree with terrorism are probably equal to the number of Christians who believe we should burn the Qur'an. There are countless stories about how hate destroys the hater. Let's celebrate the stories of amazing grace and forgiveness.

If we get what we focus on, let's focus on love. My friend tells me true stories of her friends, who, during 9/11 before the planes crashed the towers, were refused by Muslim drivers to go downtown. Stories of Muslim families who evacuated the night before the bombing. It's true that I don't have those experiences to color my perception, so it is easy for me to be "inclusive." The true challenge, for all of us, is to forgive--not forget--despite what we know. Despite previous experiences. Letting go is the hardest thing we we can do--and yet, it is in letting go that we finally are free.

What if...

What if you could sing?
What if you could dance?
What if you went back to school?
What if you looked at someone you didn't like through different eyes?

What if we we could change our thinking? Change our behavior? Change our lives? I suppose what if goes along with my "yes, and..." idea from improv. "What if" is at the heart of all child's play. Of course, kids don't ask themselves this outright, but it's true...what if I were a fairy princess? what would I do?

I think as adults, we forget to ask "what if." We are too solidly rooted in what we call "what is." We don't have time to consider possibilities, after all, because we know "what is." But what if "what is"...isn't? What if we create "what is"? What if we were to pause for just a moment and ask ourselves "what if"?

What if she DIDN'T mean it that way?
What if he really wasn't qualified for this position?
What if I've accomplished more than I think?
What if I try to sing? or dance? or learn accounting?

"What if" could be a good thing for us grown ups to consider. For businesses too.

What if our customers want it?
What if we found a way to try something new?
What if we worked together differently?

It's easy to say no. It's easy to go with what we believe is "what is." Take the harder road. Someone once said, if there are two choices and one is more difficult, choose the more difficult route--it is the one you will learn by. Okay--maybe no one said that exactly, but that's the idea. Take the difficult route, say "yes, and..." then ask yourself..."what if?" and see what you come up with.