It is Patriot Day

I have to admit, when I looked at Google Calendar and saw that it was "Patriot Day" I didn't know what it was. It wasn't that I'd forgotten about 9/11 and its events, I just don't associate them yet with the term "Patriot Day."

A dear, dear friend of mine who lives here in Scottsdale, comes from a family of New York, Irish fire fighters and her brother died in the towers on 9/11. Just typing that makes me cry. I called her tonight, to tell her I was thinking of her on this sad anniversary and it just so happened she is writing a paper on "civic responsibility." (She just went back to school at 50! :) We began discussing labels and prejudice. It's true that her East coast experiences are much different than mine on the West coast.

For one, the East coast, with all of its immigrant communities, was much more "open" about who people were. She told me that growing up, you told people your full name because "Geraghty" or "Ricci" or "Polanski" told folks about where you lived and where you came from. It also meant you were ripe for a slew of "racial" jokes--but rather than alienating you, it was almost a form of acceptance. "OH, you're Irish--let's go have a beer!"

Growing up in Seattle, I had the opposite experience. The West coast was, and I believe continues to be, the land of P.C. While I think on some fronts the P.C.'ness was started with good intentions, it has its own challenges as well. I've had frank discussions with "people of color" who say that prejudice is alive and well in Seattle--it's just much more polite.

So where does this leave us? The standard sentiment for 9/11 is "We will remember" and "Don't forget"--and this is very true. We must remember--we must not forget. Yet, we must forgive. We have to move past labeling, and "isms." The number of Muslims who agree with terrorism are probably equal to the number of Christians who believe we should burn the Qur'an. There are countless stories about how hate destroys the hater. Let's celebrate the stories of amazing grace and forgiveness.

If we get what we focus on, let's focus on love. My friend tells me true stories of her friends, who, during 9/11 before the planes crashed the towers, were refused by Muslim drivers to go downtown. Stories of Muslim families who evacuated the night before the bombing. It's true that I don't have those experiences to color my perception, so it is easy for me to be "inclusive." The true challenge, for all of us, is to forgive--not forget--despite what we know. Despite previous experiences. Letting go is the hardest thing we we can do--and yet, it is in letting go that we finally are free.