We Don't Sell Shirts

I did improv for a few years--theater improv where you create scenes on the spot. In improv, there is a concept called "yes, and..." It is basically the idea that in order to move the scene along, you need to agree with whatever "offer" your fellow improviser makes. Not agreeing is called "blocking" and stops the scene dead in its tracks. Example of blocking:

Improviser #1: (pointing into the sky) "Wow! Look! It's a spaceship!"
Improviser #2: (folding arms and shaking head) "That's not a spaceship, it's just a weather balloon."

Ouch. Being blocked feels like you were completely rejected. Now you are stuck trying to make an interesting scene and play nice with someone you don't like very well at the moment. Now consider this example of "yes, and...":

Improviser #1: (pointing into the sky) "Wow! Look! It's a spaceship!"
Improviser #2: (getting excited and looking in direction of pointing) "Yes, and it looks like it's getting ready to land!"

Yay! Now we get to take the scene any one of a million different fun directions. You feel loved and are looking forward to playing nice with the other person. Of course, you don't always have to say "yes, and..."--it's just the concept of agreeing on the initial offer and moving it forward together.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am continually shocked and amazed at how few people get this in life. Blocking seems to be the norm rather than the exception. I'm just as guilty of it even knowing about the principle! When businesses do it, though, it is baffling.

We recently went to Sonoma, California. We were at a winery that bears our last name and my husband was pretty giddy about it. It was a beautiful winery and tasting room--obviously a lot of money and taste had gone into it. The wine tasting room manager was friendly enough, and we enjoyed the wines enough that we bought a case (mostly because the bottles bear our name :). My husband also wanted to buy a shirt like the one she had on. She looked around and checked into it--nope, no shirts. He asked what happened when a new employee started--didn't he or she get a shirt? Hmmm...yes, but we don't sell shirts. He even followed up by e-mail, sure that they would throw in a shirt with our case of wine, but no, we don't sell shirts.

I run into this repeatedly as a consumer and with my clients, too. Why on earth would you reject a customer? What in the world are you thinking? YES! Here is a shirt! YES! Spread our brand all over where you live so people will know who we are and buy more wine! YES! We love your business and it is our pleasure to GIVE you a shirt!

So just remember, next time a customer (or friend, spouse, co-worker--anyone really) makes you an "offer": YES! And...just see where it takes you!