(Since this was originally a ten-minute speech, I'm going to break this down into several blog posts so that someone might have a prayer of actually reading all of them.)
Part 1 of 3
I love watching little kids when I'm out and about--2, 3, 4 year olds--the ones that are too little to be in "real" school yet. They seem to have an innate sense of whatever will bring them joy and they just do it! They twirl or drop to the ground and roll around or stick a finger in their nose. They do what they want to be joyful and don't care what anyone (including their parents) thinks. Somewhere along the way, I think most of us lose that sense of what will bring us joy and then choosing to act on it.
A little over a year ago, I had a bit of a meltdown. I had a fantastic life--wonderful husband, great marriage, two wonderful kids, our home (something to be grateful for in this day and age), our health--and yet I wasn't happy. Sure their were moments of happiness, but I didn't have that deep-down core happiness that I call joy. And I couldn't figure out why. I had everything I'd dreamed of, yet joy eluded me. Then, the meltdown. I hit a psychic brick wall and had to just stop everything. I was physically and mentally exhausted from "living the dream."
I was blessed enough to have the time over the next year to do some serious personal work. I got to explore why I wasn't experiencing joy and how I might experience more of it. What I discovered was that much of my joy was in the choices I was (or wasn't) making. I'd like to share some of the ways I've been choosing joy in my life.
Choosing My Thoughts
If you think about it, much of our experience is really about what we are thinking. If we are having stressed out, worried thoughts, we are experiencing a stressed out, worried life. And vice versa.
For example, my son goes to school about a half hour from our house and I get to experience an hour's worth of freeway and downtown commuting right at rush hour. Believe me, other drivers give me plenty of opportunities to lose my joy! They change lanes without signaling, they cut me off, go too fast, go too slow, tailgate...and my first reaction is anger. Irritation. Swearing. But none of my reaction affects them, my reaction only serves to ruin my own day. My joy is in my perception.
There was a story in one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books a long time ago. You've probably heard it before: A woman is looking forward to a quiet commute home on the train and a man gets on with his unruly young children. She gets more and more worked up, wondering why he isn't doing something about his kids' behavior so finally, she confronts him. The man explains that they are on their way home from the hospital where his wife, the kids' mother, just died. In an instant, her perception shifts. The kids are still unruly, she's still tired, but that one little piece of information melts her anger into empathy.
Maybe that guy who just cut me off is on his way to Phoenix Children's Hospital where his kid is fighting cancer. Maybe that woman tailgating me can't be late to work again or she'll lose her job--and her home. I don't know what their stories are, but isn't it just as easy for me to assume that they're not just assholes? The fact is I get to experience more joy in my life when I choose to think positive thoughts...OR when I just choose not to think negative thoughts.
Tune in next time for choice #2: Choosing What I Say "Yes" To
No comments:
Post a Comment